Yesterday I posted about FREEDOM, and our personal definitions of that. Following your heart, expressing yourself, inner freedom. Two other important elements to thrive are SAFETY and HEALTH.
Safety to be and free yourself, no matter your gender, age, sexual orientation, nationality etc. But of course also a body that is loved and collaborated with. I want to zoom into that.
I have had some health issues. Or I could rephrase that as: my body was communicating with me. It started with some burn-out symptoms, after a challenging and intense energetic journey. I listened to the lessons and rested. And recovered.
My upper back started to feel soar. As was my breastbone. Every morning I woke up with a pressure. Turned out, it was my lungs. Feeling compressed, coughing, but mostly struggling breathing, especially when I was physically active, walking and talking, or singing.
My gym workouts and daily big round in the forest got replaced by a smaller round. And then even no round. Songs that I could always sing easily, became a struggle and turned into me coughing, especially with big notes. Not being able to work out anymore, resulted in gaining weight. I energetically and physically felt heavier than I usually do.
We carry grief in our lungs. I knew that I was clearing something. For myself, my family line, my birth area, the collective. And it required gentleness and patience. Compassion. And aligned, tuned in action.
I thought that I might have long covid and at some point decided to go to the doctor. With big resistance. Asthma and copd got ruled out after tests, long covid can’t be tested. The doctor suggested I could be put on a waitlist for intensive treatment.
I immediately felt a big NO. I got a strong feeling that I needed to energetically and physically RECLAIM things. My health. My worthiness. My voice. My deservingness to be here. My sexiness. My fire. My passion. My breasts, heart, hips, tongue. My TRUTH and permission to speak and live it. By aligning my life to that, my chest started to soften and open again. I could breathe better, sing better, move better.
It almost felt like I was buried alive, rebirthing myself through the density of the field and collective witch wound here and rising more raw, real and rooted.
And with the capacity to open my heart again, in a deeper way. Vulnerable and powerful. It was challenging, but worth it. I am still not back in full fitness like I used to be, but I am doing WAY better, and moving from a more courageous place. With a gentle, yet fierce lioness heart. That’s the medicine that I (and the world) needed.
And my guess is, that that’s why I moved back here. Rebirthing myself through the deep shadowwork of where I come from. Rising from the ashes. Coming home, in my divine feminine throne. Mmmmmm…. Deep, beautiful, expansive breath. 
X Aukje
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